I don’t have any inside sources, but based on the current situation (and the data from past few seasons), it is fair to say this is exactly how it will go down:
Whitt can’t get even a HS OC to return his calls, so he nails the hire in Bajakian, who appears to have been his first choice from Day 1. Scalley, already stuck in coaching purgatory, is livid because his opinion was never taken into account. He also suddenly realizes the importance of $$$, and when tOSU fires Day, he jumps at the chance. Whitt hires Tuiaki as DC — because, well, he will never hire outside his circle..
Whitt also begs Cam to return. Cue the $5M check from the boosters. Meanwhile, most of the team hits the transfer portal, and even the kicker’s mom tweets out, “taLeNt WaSTed XeriNg to SLCC.” Whitt, of course, is determined and goes portal shopping but keeps it all under wraps. In Spring, despite having a team decimated by injuries, he confidently declares this is the best roster he’s ever had, and we’re winning the NC in 2025.
Gullible fans are already smelling roses, and the truckstop-stomper fans continue to engage in Twitter wars. Meanwhile, the true fans — the ones who value the university and don’t worship individuals, the ones who are okay with anyone who can get the goddamn job done (as long as it’s not Whitt and Cam) — scoff and snigger. Season ticket renewals are lower than Utah’s average yards per game.
First game rolls around, and Cam is injured by Snoop’s tail during the tunnel walk. But Cam is a warrior; he orders Whitt to let him continue playing, and Whitt obliges. The defense? Trust me, it’s stout! We only lose by 77 points. Cam’s injury is season-ending (?), but Whitt never confirms — it is his new policy to not talk about season-ending injuries.
QB depth? Ha! I mean, we have Fifita and Mateer in the wings, but Whitt promised Alex Smith that his son who is still in middle school, will be QB-2, so he trots out a triple-option offense with a MUSS student. The season? A wild success given the circumstances. Sure we lose every game, but only by 50-ish points… so we’re basically undefeated if 7 bounces had gone our way per quarter.
Finally, in a masterstroke of brilliance, Harlan signs Whitt to a 99-year, $25M/year deal (sidenote: he accuses Yormark of stealing Cam’s walker after the TSPP game)!. Obviously, Whitt signs the contract, because nobody in the history of mankind has ever said no to this kind of money. Whitt worshippers order statues of his calves (and Cam’s knees) to celebrate his genius. Meanwhile, Scalley goes on to win the NC in his first season at tOSU. And the fans who didn’t drink the kool-aid, the ones who braved even the 2004 and 2008 seasons… they sit there, arms folded, grinning at the train-wreck, saying, “told you so!!!”
PS: This is all in jest, and not meant to take a jab at any posters :). Sometimes, humor is the best cope ;). But I understand the frustration, and respect the varied opinions.
Utah @ 
Houston .
