BREAKING NEWS

[press-on]

In a shocking new development up on The Hill this evening, Coach Kyle Whittingham, stunningly revealed that He, Himself, would be a game time decision as head coach of the Utes when Utah visits Arizona State on Friday, October 11th in Sun Devil Stadium.

Coach Whit refused to reveal any details or background information regarding this unorthodox and surprising announcement, other than to state that he has a long standing policy regarding injuries and would not be discussing the matter further, unless at some point it became a season ending situation. He referred all other questions to Athletic Director Mark Harlan who was, as of the writing, unavailable for comment.

Accepting one question from the press, Coach Whittingham stated that, should he be unable to perform his coaching duties in Tempe, Cam Rising would take over as the Interim Head Coach. Directing his comments specifically then to the fanbase, he added, “the team will be in good hands. Rising has a tremendous command of the playbook.” He concluded by stating he “hoped to be able to return to the sidelines the following week, but it probably would be a game time decision.”

Meanwhile, Offensive Coordinator Andy Ludwig, reacting to criticisms to his play calling levied by the Utah fanbase, stated he was considering adding a number of innovative new plays to the Utah Playbook to give the Ute quarterbacks an edge should opposing defenses elect to blitz the young Ute QBs. These included Quick Slant Patterns; Draw Plays; Screen Passes and possibly even a shovel pass. The Ute fanbase will be thrilled to learn this!

[RedUte14]

man you type of people are complete babies tbh. weird how much you let it effect you.

[press-on]

This was meant to be satire folks! Tongue-in-check type comedic relief! If it applies to Rising how would it look if you applied the same reasoning to Whittingham? You can see the ridiculousness of it.

Man-up and just be honest and focus on who and what you have to go to battle with! You know if Rising is good to go well before game day! Opponents are smart and are not affected by this nonsense. All this is just diversionary fluff in the end and frankly is frustrating to hear week after week for the fans and everyone else. Just tell it the way it is and let your preparations and game speak for itself!

[RedUte14]

supposed to be tongue in cheek??? then followed by a serious reply saying the same thing?

is the fan base so awful that they can’t handle an 8-5 season and so far being 4-1??

[HATUman]

The less that is available from the team, the less desire I have to watch. My peak was as a student working with the football team. I knew every player on the roster from 2014-2015. I was at the facility before they were and left after them. I learned a ton of insider information and got to know most coaches. Being that close to the program made it so much fun. I traveled with the team and am still friends with several players. That insider information made it so much more fun, but now that I’m on the outside looking into absolutely nothing, my fandom has begun to dwindle. If Coach Whitt opened the gates just a bit, I think it would garner so much more interest. Hopefully, Scalley is more open, but all signs point to him being a clone of Whitt.

[press-on]

Oh, and by the way, thank you RedUte 14, aka Coach Whitt for your take!

[RoboUte]

I can see that not many have been introduced to the Onion

[hbUte]

Loved the last paragraph especially…now that was funny!!!

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