Funny Post from Cougarboard. Relevant Ute Fan Reading
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- This topic has 10 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 7 years, 3 months ago by ironman1315.
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TurdBurglarParticipant
The cliché story of the desperate guy that clung onto the pretty girl.
Once upon a time, there was a desperate nerdy boy named Coug who had no friends. Although he was a nice kid, he just never really fit in. All the kids he grew up with started getting hair in funny places, their voices changed and they started liking girls.This was especially true with Coug’s neighbor and former friend Doug Utey. One day, down on his luck, Coug spotted Patty Fiverino. She was so pretty but only hung out with the cool kids like Doug Utey. She and her friends called themselves the P Fivers.As the end of the year approached, Coug mustered up the strength to ask her to prom by drawing Patty a portrait of herself. Upon inviting her to attend prom, Coug explained to Patty that he spent three hours on the shading of her upper lip and if she went with him, it would be the bomb.com. As she was going to say no, Patty’s mom, Anna Indy, said Patty must attend prom with Coug. COUG WAS STOKED! Finally, he got to experience what it was like to hang with Patty.The big day came and Coug took patty to the dance (and even dressed the part and picked her up in a slick ride). Upon arriving, Patty B lined for the P Fivers.Now sad, Coug realized that he didn’t belong in that crowd. In reality, he belonged with his own group of friends that were just like him.It didn’t mean he was less than the P Fivers, it just meant that he was a special spirit and was cut out for something different.Yet, to this day, he still tells his kids the story about how Patty Fiverino accepted his invitation to attend prom and he even secretly stalks her on Facebook, wishing it was him in the pictures she posts with her hugging extremely masculine men.The end.
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EagleMountainUteParticipant
I can’t believe I read this. Time to turn off this category. Damn they are weird.
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EagleMountainUteParticipant
I just saw this got posted twice and in the wrong category?
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AnonymousInactive
I thought it was funny, and more than a little sad.
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Tony (admin)Keymaster
Moved to the byu/tds category. Now that we are done with them in football, byu posts should be in this category so those who don’t want to see zoo related posts can use the category filter. Thanks.
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SkinyUteParticipant
I’m guessing Doug Utey had a good night then. Because, as Sean Connery so sagely reminded us, losers always whine about their best.
Winners go home and f*ck the prom queen.
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Red DonParticipant
“Yet, to this day, he still tells his kids the story about how Patty Fiverino accepted his invitation to attend prom”
So, he lies to his kids? Losers like him need an invite to the prom; not the other way around. I don’t remember Patty 5 and her friends ever inviting this dolt to anything. Only in their mind and made-up folklore.
I did like the part about him being a sweet spirit and maybe was cut out for something else. I guess that means he’ll be asking Mary WC out, or her cousin Big Sky.
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DuhwayneParticipant
What in the f**k was that.
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highlandute7Participant
Sounds like a lot of that was taken from Napolean Dynamite.
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GameForAnyFussParticipant
Napoleon Dynamite is “Catcher in the Rye” for BYU-P types. That movie defines their existence.
I, for one, think that movie is boring, mildly funny, and incredibly awkward. Kind of like BYU-P fans.
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ironman1315Participant
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