GameForAnyFuss

Negative. Bail on the pizza and head for the nearest Waffle House. It’ll change your life (possibly even for the better).

Covey on the Eagles practice squad.

When I was a kid, my dad got fired from his job as a UDOT worker for theft. I refused to believe he could do such a thing, but when I got home, the signs were all there.

That’s weird…Covey himself was saying he made the roster just a few hours ago.

Breaking: Covey made the Eagles roster!

Nah, I like FU better.

Which seats and how much?

First week of football is so strange. Some teams raise their game to the occasion, some teams succumb to the nerves that come with the spotlight. I just hope Utah is the former.

Everyone run – don’t walk – to Twitter and watch Brady’s goal. It’s a banger.

You know, if I were you, I would just stop caring up upvotes and downvotes. They don’t affect anything material, and they don’t make you a better or worse person than you are.

I disagree. This is about money, not wins. Does Rutgers bring any eyeballs to televisions? There are plenty of perennial punching bags that have a lot bigger TV markets (UCLA, for example).

Until they get kicked to the curb by their current conferences in a few years.

The problem with being a small fish in a big pond is eventually the big fish get tired of supporting you. If I’m Rutgers, Purdue, Illinois, etc. I’m putting that new money in a high-yield investment because it ain’t gonna be there for long.

Good. I hope they keep disrespecting Utah, and I hope both teams listen carefully.

Drive into the neighborhood to the north of the stadium. Pay a crackhead $20 to park on his lawn.

Yes, I’m serious.

Translated into English for those who don’t speak Ski Racing:

Less than 30 FIS points in giant slalom = world class = baller = good get

They are mid-major trash. They won games last year by catching some good teams at the right times and then beating their usual menu of French pastries. Then they were exposed by a bad team in a bad bowl game. They don’t deserve to be ranked.

In honor of Jameis Winston (yes, I know…wrong school), the only acceptable thing to eat is crab legs.

I’m staying at one of my cousin Mario’s trap houses in Gainesville.

A. All day, every day.

I’m mostly worried about ball security.

First of all, we seem to have fumbling problems in an early game every year.

Second, even when it’s “cool” in Florida, their godforsaken humidity has everyone sweating like an ovulating cow. That means slippery hands and arms, which means balls get knocked loose easier.