There isn’t an equivalence here. If you don’t defend someone being attacked disproportionately for “wrong” speech, then the attackers will win. This just isn’t a situation where it makes sense to be neutral.
Frankly, we should know this with our relationship to BYU. Yeah, don’t be intentionally offensive to BYU alum. But when they come after you for offending them when it wasn’t your intent, you absolutely do not bow down to them (unless you want to be controlled by their values).