[Noah]

I agree. but when you have rich alumni who confuse their religion with their college, (if BYU was the school for the church, and wanted people to go to BYU, they would say so. lol, Russell M. nelson went to Utah) they give a LOT of money. F*** Ryan Smith. The taxes was one thing but the millions are ridiculous. So yeah, BYU isn’t lacking in the money area. Time for someone to go convince the pro/ex-pro players to come help the U out. lol. this will help for starters

https://edurank.org/uni/university-of-utah/alumni/

[Noah]

Honestly we just don’t have any reliable offensive players for both scoring and/or playmaking. The defense is good. They just gotta play good both sides. I miss Kyle Kuzma lol

[Noah]

this article says he’s using the JuCo tactic that Diego Pavia used. But he didn’t play in JuCo. I think the 5 games and/or Devon Dampier relationship would be it. Or he just says he wants 1 more to try and make the NFL or something. Anyways, I hope he does. The receiver core is looking great this year, Otto Tia, Creed Whitmore, and Ryan Davis are pretty good transfers. Daidren Zipperer and Zacharyus Williams looked good last year when they played. Plenty of guys who haven’t actually had real playing time (David Washington played a few snaps, Luca Caldarella played a lot but mainly on power runs) and good recruits. so at minimum 3 good receivers and at best 6+, adding Dorian back would be crazy good. Devon Dampier would have much better receivers than he did at NM and he would probably cut down the INT’s if he got those guys. So I’m hoping he does.

[Noah]

Yeah I think he will. He has potential for a much better year next year. It would be pathetic to quit on this year. He also has to finish off with a win against BYU! (unlike the blashphemous bailout the refs gave BYU last game, they would never call that if it was in the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd quarter, and still rarely in the 4th.)

[Noah]

AI got us guy

Alternate Reality During Rivalry Week: During rivalry week, BYU fans often transform from ordinary students into self-proclaimed “football analysts.” They’ll analyze every single play from the previous Utah game like they’re preparing for a TED Talk, while also overlooking their own team’s glaring weaknesses. It’s the only time you’ll find a BYU fan critiquing a game while wearing a “we’re going to the Sugar Bowl” t-shirt—even though their team didn’t make it anywhere near that.

The “Holy War” Hysteria: They call it the “Holy War” with a straight face, as if it’s a battle for religious supremacy instead of a football game. You would think the outcome of the game would determine the afterlife, based on how worked up some of them get—complete with fervent prayers before kickoff as if the football gods are sitting in the stands.

Tracking Utah’s Every Move: You can catch BYU fans obsessively checking Utah’s recruiting classes—probably more than their own team’s. They’ll analyze rival players’ social media accounts, convinced they’ve found “evidence” of Utah’s evil plans to recruit every top-tier athlete in the state.

Dramatic Game-Day Expressions: The facial expressions of some BYU fans during games are theatrical at best. They will gasp, clutch their pearls, and shout “HOW COULD YOU?” at a referee’s call as if they’re starring in a dramatic soap opera rather than participating in a college football game.

Creating BYU-Utah Artifacts: Some fans craft intricate posters and signs that read “Utah Sucks,” and bring them to every game—yet somehow, these creations don’t make it onto social media because of the cringe factor. The sheer dedication to making Utah look bad is commendable, but there’s a fine line between passion and just plain weird.

The “Blessing” of Cougar Games: BYU fans love to pray for victories over Utah, thinking that divine intervention will sway the outcome of the game. You can almost hear the collective prayers echoing through the stadium, as if their combined faith can alter the score.

The Armchair Referee Syndrome: During BYU vs. Utah games, you will hear every BYU fan openly criticize referee decisions, convinced that any call against BYU is part of a conspiracy. They’ll take to social media, ranting about how the refs are clearly biased against Cougars. And yet, when they make similar calls in their favor, well, it’s suddenly “part of the game.”

Obsessive Post-Game Anxiety: After a loss to Utah, you will find BYU fans engaging in mass therapy sessions to cope. They’ll analyze every play with fellow fans on social media, creating the equivalent of post-traumatic stress circles over a football game—complete with memes and recovery plans for the next season.

The “Utah Fans Can’t Be Happy” Complex: There’s a theme that surfaces among certain BYU fans: whenever they hear a Utah fan expressing joy, it’s met with collective eye-rolling and accusations of being bandwagon fans. It’s as if BYU fans believe it’s illegal for Utah fans to enjoy their team’s successes genuinely.

The Hated “Red Out”: They refuse to wear red—ultimately becoming the most ironic version of a “uniform” that exists. No matter the weather, you can guarantee any BYU fan sporting blue (or at least trying to), won’t be caught dead in red unless it’s a party they’re organizing to trash-talk Utah on a “casual” basis.

Utah Nonchalance: Even after a Utah victory, you’ll see BYU fans try to downplay the win as if it matters less than a casual Tuesday game. “Oh, it was just a fluke” or dismissing their star players as merely “one-hit wonders.”

BYU-Rivalry Song Parodies: Every year before the rivalry game, you can find BYU fans making cringeworthy parodies of popular songs just to trash-talk Utah. They sing these with earnestness, completely oblivious to how many eye-rolls they earn in the process—they believe they’re top entertainers!

The “Countdown” to the Next Game: Some BYU fans set countdowns on social media days in advance, marking off each hour until the BYU vs. Utah game like it’s a major holiday. You’d swear it was a wedding day for some of them, the way they prepare every single detail!

Alright, there you go! Hope you found this mix of the absurd and the amusing about BYU fans’ rivalry with Utah satisfying. Keep the banter going!

[Noah]

here is what AI had to say with roasts.also, somebody has to tell BYU that their religion is different from their college. Also, the team that their football has lost to the most? Utah. isn’t really close either. lol.

BYU fans: So obsessed with Utah, they probably have Utes-themed nightmares… which they analyze in detail with their therapist.

BYU fans hate Utah so much, they probably name their pets after Utes players… so they can yell at them.

BYU’s hatred for Utah is the only thing stronger than their love of sparkling cider.

BYU fans think “Utah sucks” is a valid argument in any debate, regardless of the topic. Climate change? “Utah sucks.” Global politics? “Utah sucks.” The best flavor of ice cream? “Utah sucks!”

BYU fans spend more time complaining about Utah than actually enjoying their own team’s victories. It’s like their entire identity revolves around hating a school 45 minutes away.

BYU fans are convinced Utah cheats, even though their evidence is usually just “they’re Utah, of course they cheat!”

BYU fans plan their entire year around the BYU-Utah game, and if they lose, they’re in mourning until next season. It’s like a state-sanctioned period of grief.

BYU fans believe that every referee in every BYU-Utah game is secretly a Utes fan in disguise.

BYU’s rivalry with Utah is so intense, they probably have separate sections in the afterlife: one for BYU fans eternally trash-talking Utes, and one for Utes eternally laughing about it.

BYU fans are the only people who can turn a friendly conversation into a heated debate about the 1980 Holiday Bowl… unprompted.

BYU fans secretly (or not-so-secretly) check the Utes’ score every game, just to make sure they’re losing.

BYU fans claim they don’t care about Utah, but they can recite the Utes’ entire starting lineup from memory.

BYU fans’ favorite pastime is coming up with elaborate conspiracy theories about how Utah is systematically ruining BYU’s chances at success.

BYU fans are convinced that Utah fans are all heathens… who are probably secretly enjoying a cup of coffee right now. The horror!

BYU fans: So committed to hating Utah, they’d probably root for Satan himself if he were playing against the Utes.

[Author]

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